- Sinful and selfish people are the cause of sinful and selfish relationships.
- Dating doesn't make us sin and getting rid of it wouldn't solve all our problems, but it's foolish to pretend that dating isn't at least part of the problem.
- If we want to stay on the straight and narrow path and serve God, we cannot continue a practice that often pulls us in the wrong direction.
If you head out the same course with the same assumptions and attitudes as those who have fallen, do not hope that in the critical moment you'll be able to stay in control.
7 Habits of Defective Dating
1. Dating tends to skip friendship stage
- One-on-one dating moves a guy & girl beyond friendship and towards romance too quickly.
- Premise of dating: attraction towards each other.
Premise of friendship: enjoy common interests together - Intimacy without friendship is superficial
- Relationships based solely on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last as long as the feelings last.
2. Dating tends to mistake a physical relationship for love.
- Early introduction of physical affection into relationship added confusion - lips have met doesn't mean hearts have joined.
- Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful - God demands sexual purity.
- Physical involvement can make two people feel close but they'd probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
3. Dating isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
- Even in serious relationships, it's not wise to isolate yourself from others.
- If we make decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we'll probably make poor judgements.
- Exclusive attention expected in dating tends to isolate a couple from friends who love them most, family who knows them best and God who is far more important that any romantic interest.
4. Dating can possibly distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
- Instead of serving in their local church and equipping themselves with the character, education and experience necessary to succeed in life, many are consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
5. Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness.
- God gives us singleness- a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning and service.
- Find the beauty of singleness by using our freedom to serve God with abandon.
- Instead of enjoying the unique qualities of singleness, dating causes people to focus on what they don't have.
6. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.
- A person doesn't need to accurately portray his/her positive and negative characteristics in that artificial environment.
- Dating is fun because it gives us a break from real life.
- To weigh the possibility of marriage, need to see each other in the real-life settings of family and friends - watch each other serving and working.
7. Dating often becomes an end in itself.
- Instead of acting as a bridge between friendship and marriage, dating becomes the destination - not ending but not moving on, either. Since can experience emotional and physical privileges of marriage, many find little motivation for committing themselves to marriage, which is selfish.
